Meredith Williams: In My Head Gale Antokal Gallery, 03/14/2022–03/18/2022 Advisors: Jonathan Fung, Valerie Mendoza Works in the Exhibit Views of the Exhibit

Artist's Statement

In My Head depicts my personal journey of suffering from mental health illnesses. My experiences with ADHD, anxiety and depression have made me feel small and chased by monsters in my head. This series gives the viewer a visual sense of what is inside my head as I navigate these illnesses. These monsters have taken a toll on different aspects of my life from self confidence and relationships, to going as far as self harm. The toll these monsters take on my life are beyond devastating. Through this journey, I returned to therapy and took steps to help chase this evil from my head. The healing process has lit the pathway for me to find a coping mechanism - photography. By recreating the visual in my head of my experience with these monsters, I was able to confront them and realize their presence. It's as if the light has turned on in my nightmare and I can now see that the monsters are coming and this makes them less scary. These visualizations of my illnesses, hitting rock bottom, working through my illnesses, and being reborn are what you see in my show today.

Everyone's monsters look different inside their heads. In order to portray a sense of feeling small, I have scaled these images to be larger than reality. The audience's journey inside my head begins with a sense of inadequacy. As one moves through the installation, they experience my rock bottom point. After rock bottom the only way to journey is up, conquering these demons with a sharp sword. In the end I have emerged reborn. This series is not only a homage to how far I have personally come in my mental health journey, but to break that way of thinking that everyone goes through their own journey and that they shouldn't compare themselves to others. Everyone's monsters look different in each of our heads.